Court Day

June 26, 2006
1:30 pm

THE COW and Officer Ismael!
I accompanied the cow to traffic court at the appointed time. Following is a brief synopsis of our encounter with the Oregon legal system.

I met the cow outside of his office at 12:10. I brought a picnic lunch on the hottest day Oregon has ever had (the last two days set records). We hopped on a bus and got off on 5th and something - one block from the Multnomah County Courthouse.
We sat in the park and dined on Pizza with arugula pesto, an apple and an orange. To wash it all down we enjoyed Stewart's Key lime soda.
After lunch we ventured into the Portland building, I like to call it Portlandia because the statue of the same name stands over the main entrance. The building was designed by Michael Graves (of Target fame).
Inside the building it was nice and cool. On the second floor there is a description and photos or replicas of various outside art installments around Portland. As we strolled, I realized I had seen most of the pieces but did not have the context to understand them as the artist had intended.
We queued up outside the Courthouse at 1:10 pm. As you know security is very tight and everyone must go through the metal detectors, blah blah blah!
We entered room 124 at 1:25 and watched as all the other law breakers entered. Some even had attorneys. We were hoping the police officer would not attend and the ticket would be dismissed by default, but that didn't happen because Officer Ismael walked in wearing all of his police garb.
The judge entered, everyone stood, the royal highness read the list of names that were suppose to be in court (the cow being one of them) and then said, "Before court gets started I am recommending that each of you discuss your case with your presiding officer." The cow and I looked at each other and thought, "what the hell!"
We sat in amazement as all the individuals in the room scrambled to get to their officer. Each cop pulled out the paperwork for each person and started making deals. It went something like this.....ok suzie, I will drop count two if you plead guilty to count one (reckless driving).
We sat on the bench for a good 10 or 15 minutes before we realized that we should try and do something. Officer Ismael was standing outside the door and we stood in line with the rest of the hoodlums to talk to him. Once it was our turn and the cow told him his name, officer Ismael responded with "oh, you're the honker." One could say that the cow thought. Before the cow said another word the officer said, "I will ask for a dismissal." Both of us shocked and standing with our mouths open we quickly said "thank you" and stepped back in the courtroom. Thirty minutes later the officer called the cow in front of the judge and said the state was requesting a dismissal of the ticket. The judge quickly replied, "ok, you are free to go."
DONE