Bureaucratic Shit!

As I am writing this I have the phone next to my ear waiting for the bureaucratic nightmare known as the Teacher Standards and Practice Commission of Oregon to pick up their phone! I started my quest for information at 8:05am and have been told twice to leave a message and someone would get back to me within two business days. Oh, I have forgotten to say that I have been waiting for this department to get off their ass and process my license to teach. I canNOT do anything to find a job until this damn certificate is issued. So those of you who are wondering what in the HELL I do all day...this is just some of the idiotic, nightmare, bureaucratic shit that happens daily!
Let me start from the beginning of this wonderful bedtime story. To be qualified to teach in the state of Oregon (or any state for that matter) one must be approved by a state licensing board. There are many documents you must submit; such as: Official transcripts for all colleges attended (4 for me), photocopy of california state license, C-2 form which says I graduated from a teacher prep program (this one is great! because if you remember I have taught in Cali and I had to send in transcripts and they have this info on there, but no I have to mail the C-2 form to Sac State and have them verify I graduated from a teacher program), PEER form (don't ask it is better not to know), official sealed fingerprints and.........
Well, this is where it gets really goood!
By the way I am still on hold.
After gathering and receiving all of these documents you must send them all in one envelope to Salem TSPC. When the TSPC opens your envelope they create a file and now you are officially "in process." Their website and phone message says, "all packets are evaluated or reviewed within 30days of reciept". My packet was received on JULY 19th! Yes, you got it WATSON - sometime around August 19th is when my packet would be evaluated. Being the anal retentive person I am I was checking the website daily. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Then last night once I hit ENTER, I got a shocker! Here was the message flashing on the screen to my bewilderment: 8/24/05 - Miscellaneous - Incomplete Packet.
WHAT THE %&*@!!!!!!
I went into a tailspin. How the hell are you suppose to function in this god damn mediocre, beaurocratic, nightmare system called Teacher Evaluation (they don't know me - I am a piece of paper - actually multiple pieces of paper).
After the tailspin slowed to a whirlwind, I read the fine print. Miscellaneous meant that there were two documents missing which made my wonderful packet incomplete. OK - this is great! I knew I had mailed EVERYTHING in one envelope. I checked, double checked and triple checked before I sealed the envelope. I ran to the bedroom grabbed the instruction sheet for Transitional Teaching License and read carefully the instructions one more time. The picture above shows you that the instructions are on one page - not two sided.
HA,HA,HA - Well in actuality the instruction are SUPPOSE TO BE two pages. The instruction packet sent to me by TSPC was INCOMPLETO!
So, Now I know that I must fill out two more documents (as shown in the pic above). I must mail them to TSPC in Salem and when they receive them guess what happens? Voila! My "in process" packet gets pushed back to the received date.
Needless to say, I don't want anyone asking me when I will be getting a teaching job, because the fact is I can't even SUB without that stupid piece of paper!